The Wizard of Oz; or is it Just a DUCK?

The Wizard of Oz; or is it Just A Duck?

DUCK…DUCK…Downstairs; Underneath; Center of the House; Keep Away From Windows.  DUCK he says again and again.  This is great advice from my local weatherman during our recent tornado watch/warning…except that I REALLY just want my daughter to get home NOW!! AND did I say NOW?  I can’t POSSIBLY go Downstairs Under the Center of the Windowless room (assuming I even HAVE one of those!) unless and until she gets here!  She might prick her finger on a spinning needle, live with seven psychologically challenged dwarves and have to wear tacky sparkly red shoes!!!  I simply can not allow that romance story to happen!!  (In the case of Sneezy..I do believe he would have benefitted from some Zyrtec which was not invented yet so I give him a pass.)

Or worse, (I know what you are thinking right now…How Could It Be Worse Than That?)  it might turn out like Dorothy in the one of the greatest fiction novels of all times – The Wizard of Oz!  She might not get home in time, have to wear a jumper, coif her hair in braided piggies and carry an obnoxious yapping mini-dog around everywhere she goes…trying and searching and looking for some – ANY – way HOME!

Or maybe she is happy to be gone…gone from the confines of parental rules; gone from the ever vigilant eyes of her over protective father; gone from the many mantra’s of her mother – “You can’t wear that!”  “Not over my dead body!” and “What were you thinking?!?”  Oh surely she loves all of this..ummm..positive attention?

Oh Dear Gaud Above, if she makes it back in one piece I SWEAR I will NEVER again berate her fabulous sense of cowboy boots and tutu with red bandana style!  Her father will NEVER again ask her date to  “Come here son and help me clean the gutters” before he is allowed to take her out, even though he is CLEARLY wearing his best shirt!  We will always serve WHATEVER she wants for dinner (lobster?  filet mignon?) WHENEVER she wants it, and we will ABSOLUTELY NEVER EVER EVER ask her about her grades!!!

Oh wait!!  Are those car lights in the driveway?!?  Oh Thank You Laudy she is here, safe and sound!!  Oh good!  Now I can talk to her about her messy room.  And she can re-heat her kale and tofu dinner in the microwave.  And her father can get her on the roof to clean out those gutters her boyfriend missed.

So..what was I saying?  Oh!  Yes!  Please listen to your local weatherman.  When he gives you an acronym like DUCK..he means DUCK!  And  wear a helmet while your at it!